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Painted Brain | How To Write An Email To A Person Who’s Grieving
Letters of support are very important for the bereaved person. Le
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How to Write an Email to a Person Who’s Grieving

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Bereavement grief and loss

Letters of support are very important for the bereaved person. And it is important to write his correct letter, which will give hope and consolation.

The Right Letter of Support for Grieving People

Our life consists of many different events. We get new emotions, find friends, enjoy positive situations. Moreover, we also meet new people all over the world, and are instantly exposed to new opportunities – professional and otherwise – because it became easy thanks to modern technology.

However, there is another side, because without a shadow there is no light. In the life of every person, sooner or later, there comes a bitter and sorrowful moment associated with the loss of a loved one – a relative or friend. At such moments, the grieving person needs comfort, understanding, and support from others.

Condolences can be expressed in different ways. Most often they are brought orally. However, according to the rules of etiquette, words of consolation in person, as a rule, are spoken only to the relatives of the deceased, his friends, and colleagues. Of course, the condolent should ask if he can help in any way.

Nevertheless, it is not uncommon for such words of consolation to be conveyed via e-mail. This is very appropriate when it is not possible to be present personally at a mournful event. Condolence letters are usually written and sent immediately after the tragic event becomes known. If a lot of time has passed since the funeral, then there is no need to send a letter of condolence.

General Rules for a Letter of Support

If a letter of condolence is a manifestation of business ethics, then you need to take care that it was written on a special letterhead or postcard with the appropriate design. The text itself can be printed, but a “live” signature at the end of the text with condolences is required.

The text of the e-mail must contain warm and sincere words, but at the same time the letter itself as a whole should turn out to be quite restrained.

At the same time, it should be remembered that it is better to refuse to express words of condolence in verse since in this case, the consoling email will have a tinge of play and some theatricality. The most important thing when writing a letter of condolence is to express words of support from the heart.

However, it so happens that tragic news comes so unexpectedly that it is quite difficult to find the right words even orally. In such cases, it will be appropriate to familiarize yourself with the samples of writing a letter of condolence in different forms.

Examples of Good Support Letters

The text from this sample can be used by substituting names to write a comforting email to the deceased’s close family and friends.

“Dear (Name)!

We (or I) are deeply about the death of your dad (or another loved one). He was a wonderful person and surprised those around him with the kindness of his soul and tact. We will all miss him very much. Please accept our sincere condolences for your grief.

Please, if we can help you with something, then let us know about it. We are ready to provide any assistance. All members of our family join in the words of condolences. We will pray for you. “

By replacing certain words, you can compose a suitable letter from this sample. Also, if the deceased was an employee and condolences need to be expressed to his colleagues, then you can use the text presented in the following sample.

“Ladies and gentlemen!

We are all deeply saddened and grieved over death (position and name of a colleague). Thanks to the fact that he was a professional in his field and a real specialist, our cooperation has been successful for many years. He (here you can insert the name and patronymic of the deceased) won the love and respect of all who knew him. We express our sincere condolences. “

It is worth noting that it is not necessary to write a lot of words in a letter of condolence. The main goal is to make it clear to the bereaved that all words of sympathy and support are sincere.

Universal Phrases

It is also worth considering what phrases would be appropriate to use when expressing condolences in writing:

  1. We are deeply saddened by the news of … and would like to express our sincere condolences on this occasion.
  2. Please accept our sincere condolences on …
  3. It was a great shock for us to hear about …
  4. We want to express our deep sorrow over …
  5. We were deeply saddened when we learned about …
  6. It is difficult for us to believe the sad news about …

These phrases can be safely used when composing a comforting text.

What is not Worth to Write

When writing a letter of condolence for people who are in the stage of acute shock and grief, it is necessary to be able to find the right words. Therefore, one should not in any way console the future.

For example, if a child has died, then you cannot console yourself with the words “time will pass, give birth to another.” If your husband has died, you cannot write phrases such as “you are beautiful, then you will get married”, and similar expressions.

It would be wrong to write in an e-mail and such words “don’t worry, everything will be fine.” Such a statement is optimistic, which is in no way appropriate for a mournful event. After all, the grieving person has not yet come to terms with the loss, has not mourned it to start building a new life.

The phrase “bad, of course, but time heals” will also be extremely inappropriate – this is also a banal expression that does not carry any comforting meaning.

Among other things, you cannot write something in the text of a letter of condolence that will be a reason to look for positive things in what happened. It will appear as if the compassionate is simply devaluing the loss of the bereaved.

Therefore, phrases like “he was sick and he will be better this way” will be a bad consolation.

What else cannot be written in the text of a letter of condolences? Of course, one cannot look for “extreme” ones. In no case should it be mentioned that the tragic event could have been avoided in any way. Especially if this will cause a feeling of guilt in the grieving person, and after all, it is already very difficult for him to survive the grief that has fallen.

And another common mistake that condolers often make is “I know how difficult it is for you, I understand you.” No one will ever be able to understand the feelings of the bereaved, even those who have already experienced the loss of a loved one.

In no case should comparisons be allowed, it is necessary to show tact and respect.


As you can see, the grieving support email should be written with the utmost care and discretion. Try to respect someone else’s grief and say the necessary words of support that will help you get through this difficult period. This will make the grief of loss a little easier.


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